Animal Jokes Appreciator Pillows

"The reason you're not popular is...well...you smell like shark repellant."

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

Lactose Intolerant

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"I was almost that last year."

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

Cat and mouse

"Say hello to my little friend."

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

What's an Imax cave?

Laughing Zone Ahead

Florist. A vase for everything and everything in its vase.

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

No, I don

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

'Excuse me, I ordered Matzo Ball soup.'

You complete me!

Excuse me.. Are you Dog Friendly?

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

"Have you had a stressful experience lately, such as an accident?"

'Sure, they have nine lives, but they spend eight of them asleep.'

Ostrich Curoisities

Mouse with a cat cake.

"I'll tell you my diagnosis if you promise not to laugh."

"Aaaaugh! It's the Zombie Alpacalypse!"

Canine Comedians

"...you mean this is the end of the 3 bandidoes?"

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'

'I'm counter - intelligence'

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

Vet to owner about dog with bird at chest: 'I suspect heartworm.'

Giraffe Rollercoaster

Medicine bottle - If symptoms persist, die!

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

'...Oh yeah? Well I've never heard of the 'denture fairy'.'