Animal Humor Appreciator Pillows

"He's a working dog, but I don't know what he does."

'And best of all, he really enjoys it.'

A dog looks at birthday cards in increments of seven years.

'We do not do belly rubs, if that's what you are looking for.'

Snowman Motivational Therapy

"Nine lives is great, but the inheritance tax is what kills you."

Liquid mice.

"Chased them all myself. Caught them, too."

'You want to stick that thermometer where?'

Chicken Labour.

'Say Rex, isn't it time for your worming tablets?'

"Then I realised, I was just a child substitute."

Dalmation applies 'Age Spot Cream', while wrinkly dog applies 'Wrinkle Cream'.

Unsure of the correct answer, Teddy looks around and then discreetly pulls out his cheat sheep.

Git Rich Quik Skeem - Only $1,000,000.

Old dogs don't learn new tricks.

"Don't look so worried, son...despite what your mother thinks I can grill burgers perfectly fine."

'Vultures are renowned for their use of thermals'.

'Read my lips cowboy, I said bugger off!!'

Fluffy suddenly realized it wasn't going to matter whether or not he could land on his feet from one mile up.

'I don't see the problem.'

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

"The drinks here are pretty good. Not drink-from-the-toilet good but good."

Jazz hooves!

Tom prepares for his hot date.

"Polly want this, Polly want that. What about what Polly need?"

'It's a clear case of shepherding!'

'Are we ready to order?'

'You've won almost every hand, so if I were you, I'd lose a hand, just so they don't get too angry.'

"Now WHY would you want to do something like that?"

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

Give A Dog A Bone.

Lactose Intolerant

Doggy Lap Dancing.

'Marmaduke scared some pigeons in that tree.'