Animal Humor Appreciator Pillows

"He's a working dog, but I don't know what he does."

'And best of all, he really enjoys it.'

A dog looks at birthday cards in increments of seven years.

'We do not do belly rubs, if that's what you are looking for.'

"Nine lives is great, but the inheritance tax is what kills you."

Liquid mice.

"Chased them all myself. Caught them, too."

'You want to stick that thermometer where?'

Unsure of the correct answer, Teddy looks around and then discreetly pulls out his cheat sheep.

"Then I realised, I was just a child substitute."

Old dogs don't learn new tricks.

Dalmation applies 'Age Spot Cream', while wrinkly dog applies 'Wrinkle Cream'.

'Say Rex, isn't it time for your worming tablets?'

Chicken Labour.

'Vultures are renowned for their use of thermals'.

'Read my lips cowboy, I said bugger off!!'

Fluffy suddenly realized it wasn't going to matter whether or not he could land on his feet from one mile up.

'I don't see the problem.'

"Don't look so worried, son...despite what your mother thinks I can grill burgers perfectly fine."

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

Tom prepares for his hot date.

Jazz hooves!

"Polly want this, Polly want that. What about what Polly need?"

'Where coyotes get their howl.'

"My owner is taking this "best friend" thing too far. He asked me to co-sign a loan for him."

'The popcorn is okay, but we'd rather just have the money.'

Blindman's blind guide dog with its own guide animal

'Long time no see.'

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Now WHY would you want to do something like that?"

Catfish

'It's a clear case of shepherding!'

'Marmaduke scared some pigeons in that tree.'

Lactose Intolerant

'Are we ready to order?'