Animal Joke Appreciator Pillows

'He has high blood pressure. You'll have to keep him in a salt substitute, water tank.'

'My dog has no nose.'

"We need a cat to blame this on, now"

"Call the morgue, let's see if they do carrion out."

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

Lactose Intolerant

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"I was almost that last year."

What's an Imax cave?

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"Say hello to my little friend."

Cat and mouse

Laughing Zone Ahead

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

You complete me!

'Excuse me, I ordered Matzo Ball soup.'

Excuse me.. Are you Dog Friendly?

Florist. A vase for everything and everything in its vase.

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

Mouse with a cat cake.

Canine Comedians

"...you mean this is the end of the 3 bandidoes?"

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'

Ostrich Curoisities

'Sure, they have nine lives, but they spend eight of them asleep.'

"Have you had a stressful experience lately, such as an accident?"

"I'll tell you my diagnosis if you promise not to laugh."

'I'm counter - intelligence'

"Aaaaugh! It's the Zombie Alpacalypse!"

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

Vet to owner about dog with bird at chest: 'I suspect heartworm.'

Giraffe Rollercoaster

"...and the dung was this big!.... No...elephant, actually."