Joke Appreciator Pillows

Dermatologist: Rash decisions made here.

'In retrospect, maybe we should have spent a little more on R&D.'

'There's been an accident down at the plant.'

'I'm telling you Thog, we're living in a golden age for culture.'

'Bless you.'

"Sorry, where did you say you were from again?"

'I guess I should have taken my golf course more seriously when they said they were cracking down on slow play.'

Does our driver's performance meet with your approval? If not, his mother can be reached at (718) 555-7403.

"I worked my whole career to get a chair, and this is it?!"

'Well, if it is a short circuit, I guess the easiest thing to do is lengthen it.'

Restrooms.

'No, no, the pills don't have any medication to improve your balance. You'll just get steadier on your feet by trying to catch pills that are thrown to you.'

"What happens to old economists?"

'So I charged a few billion gifts last year. I was going to pay it later.'

"That was fun. Let's do it all again in three weeks."

'You say you're in for perjury, eh? -- Why should I believe that?'

'...But first, check out the ham sandwich I had for lunch.'

'Go for the 'Chef's Surprise.' It's ham salad I made fresh last week.'

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

Crack-Be-Gone!

"And it turned out that the e-mail I binned really was from a Nigerian oil millionaire wanting to give me ?200 million."

'Mable, the doctor said that Timmy is 'autistic', not artistic.'

Corrupt Mop

"Hi. I'm in here for identity theft."

'Will you get your mind out of the gutter!'

You know you can't return it. Mother had a GPS microchip sewn into the lining.

Small dairy farmers have no future.

'I'd probably do a lot better if the teachers weren't set to 'auto-correct.''

Trump Comes Clean: "Just a Joke, Folks"

Easter Island Comedy Night.

'It's a wheel - my other invention is a computer system for RBS.'

Center of Gravity - stay back.

"Oooooo, …. A pillow!"

"Sure, I take credit cards. Wait here while I max it out.""

'Oh boy.. WHEELS ON MEALS!'