Angelic Joke Lover Gifts

'Even if you were always Mother's little angel, I still have to look it up.'

'I'ts good we don't have to make a living up here. I sold life insurance.'

St Peter at gates of Heaven tells thuggish looking man: 'You're in the wrong place, alright. Let me guess: sat nav?'

'T.M.I.F.'

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

Saint Peter will sometimes put on a disguise just to play a prank on the new arrivals.

I know time is an earthly construct, but I still feel sleepy in the afternoons.

Mr. and Mrs. Angel

An amplified harp

"It's your final warning...Quit playing the 'Beverly Hillbillies' theme song"

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

"Hey! You were that old sourpuss who worked at the motor vehicles department!"

'I would have been here sooner, if not for a wonderful, caring, competent doctor.'

"But you're paper trained and we don't have any newspapers or newspaper people."

'How nice! -- They're making a ten-part miniseries about the Bible!'

"I still hate you."

'One nice thing about this, it has overcome my fear of height.'

"Say what you like about Hell, at least they have solid floors."

"I'll pass on reincarnation. I'm glad that I don't live in the age of Trump!"

"So much for eternal rest."

Late Night TV

"The only problem with Heaven is there's nowhere to hang stuff."

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

"I chair the safety committee here, but since we're all dead, it's largely symbolic."

Heavenly Take Out

"But don't bother making up a schedule for all those projects. I've got all the time in the world now."

'Stay back from the edge. Remember what happened to the last angel that fell.'

'Let's see...yes, there is a wing upgrade for a soul patch.'

"Look, I know you think you've got the stuff, but I'm telling you: walk God."

"You received your rewards on earth."

"I couldn't take it with me, so I came back."

"I guess they really are permanent."

"Wait, there you are. I was spelling it wrong."

'Gee, I never expected to find this problem here too!'