Angelic Joke Lovers Gifts

'One nice thing about this, it has overcome my fear of height.'

'T.M.I.F.'

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

Saint Peter will sometimes put on a disguise just to play a prank on the new arrivals.

Mr. and Mrs. Angel

I know time is an earthly construct, but I still feel sleepy in the afternoons.

An amplified harp

"It's your final warning...Quit playing the 'Beverly Hillbillies' theme song"

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

"Hey! You were that old sourpuss who worked at the motor vehicles department!"

'I would have been here sooner, if not for a wonderful, caring, competent doctor.'

"But you're paper trained and we don't have any newspapers or newspaper people."

"I still hate you."

"Say what you like about Hell, at least they have solid floors."

'How nice! -- They're making a ten-part miniseries about the Bible!'

"So much for eternal rest."

"I'll pass on reincarnation. I'm glad that I don't live in the age of Trump!"

'Let's see...yes, there is a wing upgrade for a soul patch.'

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

"I chair the safety committee here, but since we're all dead, it's largely symbolic."

"But don't bother making up a schedule for all those projects. I've got all the time in the world now."

Heavenly Take Out

Late Night TV

"The only problem with Heaven is there's nowhere to hang stuff."

Showering angel has water bouncing off her halo.

'Gee, I never expected to find this problem here too!'

'But how did you lose your harp?'

"Yup. This is heaven. Free beer and unlimited peanuts."

"Look, I know you think you've got the stuff, but I'm telling you: walk God."

"Wait, there you are. I was spelling it wrong."

"Why corona? I thought they were getting a bit too cocky."

"You received your rewards on earth."

"I couldn't take it with me, so I came back."

"Don't feed them! It makes them dependent."