Angelic Irony Lover Gifts

'This can't be paradise - the reception is terrible!'

'Tomorrow we'll look back on this as a night to remember.'

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

"It's your final warning...Quit playing the 'Beverly Hillbillies' theme song"

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

'I would have been here sooner, if not for a wonderful, caring, competent doctor.'

'How nice! -- They're making a ten-part miniseries about the Bible!'

'He became a dissident Dissident in protest at the Dissidents.'

"It's not you, Glen—it's your ex-wife. She's behind me, isn't she?"

Heaven Has VIP

"Look, I know you think you've got the stuff, but I'm telling you: walk God."

"Care to try the dip? It's posthummus."

"Yup. This is heaven. Free beer and unlimited peanuts."

"You received your rewards on earth."

"I couldn't take it with me, so I came back."

"Hey you!. . . Get off of my cloud!"

"Don't feed them! It makes them dependent."

An angel looks at a news box containing the "International Herald Tribune".

St. Lukes Church: Pray and Display

"Which countries have you visited recently?"

'I didn't expect to be reincarnated as a bloody angel!'

"Ah...a newcomer to Heaven, I see."

A planet like ours - "What?! I'm going to be a mayfly again?!"

"Sh*t!... I only died to get away from advertising..."

'I was an overachiever.'

"Nah, not my type."

"Kids today!"

"That's weird... all of my files are missing from the cloud."