Angelic Irony Lover Pillows

'This can't be paradise - the reception is terrible!'

'T.M.I.F.'

'Tomorrow we'll look back on this as a night to remember.'

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

"It's your final warning...Quit playing the 'Beverly Hillbillies' theme song"

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

"Hey! You were that old sourpuss who worked at the motor vehicles department!"

'I would have been here sooner, if not for a wonderful, caring, competent doctor.'

'How nice! -- They're making a ten-part miniseries about the Bible!'

"It's not you, Glen—it's your ex-wife. She's behind me, isn't she?"

'He became a dissident Dissident in protest at the Dissidents.'

Heaven Has VIP

"Care to try the dip? It's posthummus."

"Look, I know you think you've got the stuff, but I'm telling you: walk God."

"I couldn't take it with me, so I came back."

"Hey you!. . . Get off of my cloud!"

"You received your rewards on earth."

"Man, what I wouldn't do for some Chinese take-out."

"Don't feed them! It makes them dependent."

"Yup. This is heaven. Free beer and unlimited peanuts."

An angel looks at a news box containing the "International Herald Tribune".

'When is break time around here?'

"Which countries have you visited recently?"

St. Lukes Church: Pray and Display

Actually, the "you can't take it with you" rule wasn't implemented until somebody wanted to come in with bagpipes.

"Nah, not my type."

'I didn't expect to be reincarnated as a bloody angel!'

"Sh*t!... I only died to get away from advertising..."

"Crap."

'I was an overachiever.'

A planet like ours - "What?! I'm going to be a mayfly again?!"

'Oh, great...I'm having a bad halo day and the boss decides to walk by.'

"Kids today!"

"Ah...a newcomer to Heaven, I see."