Divine Irony Lover Pillows

Angels smoke outside the Pearly Gates

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

'Tomorrow we'll look back on this as a night to remember.'

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"I'm having my entrails read."

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

Right-thinking people against wrong-thinking people

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

Please help. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time.

'You're proposing to me with, cubic zirconias?... But, you're a diamond dealer!'

"Of course no one wants a forest fire anywhere, anytime. It can be devastating. That's why I feel so guilty."

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

Leaking Hudson River paintings.

'I'm afraid Mr. Caldwell doesn't want to see you now. However, you're free to visit his web site.'

"Oh sure, it's easy to blame your husband, when he's not here to defend himself."

"When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the marital bonds which have connected her with another..."

"No worries. I'm well-prepped and ready for anything they might throw at me."

An artist creates a sculpture of a "thumbs up" and is then crushed by it.

"The house next door is slated for demolition, but your house is in the way."

Perfection Troubleshootors.

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.

'I only make predictions in retrospect.'

'Someone come and mediate our argument about mediation!'

"I hope there's nothing genetically modified in this."

'Let's see,,, You're answering prayers until 9:30,, Your Armageddon meeting's been pushed to 2:00 and it looks like your speaking engagement in Mrs, Ingersol's head is postponed 'til Thursday,'

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

The Boss of the Kleptomania Clinic has turned up for work only to discover his Clinic has been stolen