Lover Of Irony Pillows

Complaints about how we handled your complaint.

'I only make predictions in retrospect.'

'And it was about here that we decided to go paperless.'

How to reach us.

'Someone come and mediate our argument about mediation!'

'Hey, do you sell flood insurance?'

Hunters given the finger bird by birds.

Right-thinking people against wrong-thinking people

'Weekly therapy should keep your insecurities in check...or you could buy a hummer.'

"I should now like to call this AGM to...to...er..."

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

'Please do not touch' signs all over a museum. The guard has a 'please touch' above her.

'I'm afraid Mr. Caldwell doesn't want to see you now. However, you're free to visit his web site.'

'Today in Washington, a study group was formed to study whether study groups are a good idea...'

"To be frank, it's the 'honesty' or 'integrity' that's bothering me."

"Hey!! Look!!!"

'Sorry, pal. Illiteracy is no excuse for breaking the law.'

"That vicar really knows how to put the fear of god into people."

'Caution: doors don't open.'

"What's the matter, Bill, bored.?"

'You really don't remember me, Greg? Little Johnny 'Dweebo' Glynn? You pushed me into the mud 23 times, 42 wedgies in 6th grade...'

'I don't want you as my mentor no more.' 'You NO LONGER want me as your mentor.'

'Oh, him? He's the guy who invented the car alarm.'

Down on My Luck

"I hope there's nothing genetically modified in this."

"I tried cyber crime, but I prefer people-to-people contact."

"You asked for more time off to spend with your family... How does 365 days a year sound?"

Man looks at street map: 'Uh ho.You are here ! '

'Life's a swamp and then you croak.'

'I still think burglar tools OUGHT to be deductible!'

'Your security system works too well!'

A lucky bloke finds a winning lottery ticket, just as a meteor is about to hit him - 'Wow, a winning lottery ticket! What are the odds?'

Dog Show

'I have a daughter in handbags and a son in luggage.'

'Existence Ends Ahead' sign.