Love For Irony Pillows

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

End the Winter Blues

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

Welcome Association of Stage Builders.

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"Do you think Trump has read 'Contemporary Relativism and the Death of Meaning'?"

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

Lecture on Chaos Theory delayed because the speaker dropped his notes.

Right-thinking people against wrong-thinking people

'You keep turning them out and I'll dig a parking garage.'

Dear Diary, 36 weeks on this island and I'm starting to feel that I'll never get rescued."

Please help. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"Of course no one wants a forest fire anywhere, anytime. It can be devastating. That's why I feel so guilty."

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

Leaking Hudson River paintings.

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

'I want my lectures to have entertainment value.'

'You're proposing to me with, cubic zirconias?... But, you're a diamond dealer!'

'Thanks for coming here today for my presentation, '10 cutting edge trends in the future of business analysis.' Copies of my talk will be available in the lobby in VHS and Betamax formats...'

"Hang on a tick, lads, what have we here?"

'This pie chart clearly demonstrates the distain with which most people regard pie charts.'

'I'm afraid Mr. Caldwell doesn't want to see you now. However, you're free to visit his web site.'

Priest's x-ray showing his crucifix.

An artist creates a sculpture of a "thumbs up" and is then crushed by it.

You're Out Of Order

"Anyone else would have ship wrecked us on a south seas island."

"From where I'm sitting, ha-ha, you're behind bars!"

"The house next door is slated for demolition, but your house is in the way."

Perfection Troubleshootors.