Divine Irony Lovers Pillows

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"I'm having my entrails read."

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

The Dangers of National Safety Week.

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

"Do you think Trump has read 'Contemporary Relativism and the Death of Meaning'?"

Right-thinking people against wrong-thinking people

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

Leaking Hudson River paintings.

Please help. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Dear Diary, 36 weeks on this island and I'm starting to feel that I'll never get rescued."

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

'You're proposing to me with, cubic zirconias?... But, you're a diamond dealer!'

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

"Of course no one wants a forest fire anywhere, anytime. It can be devastating. That's why I feel so guilty."

'I'm afraid Mr. Caldwell doesn't want to see you now. However, you're free to visit his web site.'

"Hang on a tick, lads, what have we here?"

'This pie chart clearly demonstrates the distain with which most people regard pie charts.'

An artist creates a sculpture of a "thumbs up" and is then crushed by it.

Perfection Troubleshootors.

"When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the marital bonds which have connected her with another..."

"Anyone else would have ship wrecked us on a south seas island."

"From where I'm sitting, ha-ha, you're behind bars!"

"The house next door is slated for demolition, but your house is in the way."

"Oh sure, it's easy to blame your husband, when he's not here to defend himself."

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.

"No worries. I'm well-prepped and ready for anything they might throw at me."

Clancy: Extending Overdrafts