Divine Irony Lover Gifts

Angels smoke outside the Pearly Gates

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'T.M.I.F.'

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

'Tomorrow we'll look back on this as a night to remember.'

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"I'm having my entrails read."

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

Right-thinking people against wrong-thinking people

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

"Of course no one wants a forest fire anywhere, anytime. It can be devastating. That's why I feel so guilty."

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

Leaking Hudson River paintings.

Please help. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

'You're proposing to me with, cubic zirconias?... But, you're a diamond dealer!'

'I'm afraid Mr. Caldwell doesn't want to see you now. However, you're free to visit his web site.'

"Oh sure, it's easy to blame your husband, when he's not here to defend himself."

"When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the marital bonds which have connected her with another..."

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.

"No worries. I'm well-prepped and ready for anything they might throw at me."

Perfection Troubleshootors.

"The house next door is slated for demolition, but your house is in the way."

An artist creates a sculpture of a "thumbs up" and is then crushed by it.

'I only make predictions in retrospect.'

'Someone come and mediate our argument about mediation!'

'Let's see,,, You're answering prayers until 9:30,, Your Armageddon meeting's been pushed to 2:00 and it looks like your speaking engagement in Mrs, Ingersol's head is postponed 'til Thursday,'

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

"I hope there's nothing genetically modified in this."