Religious Irony Lover Gifts

St. Lukes Church: Pray and Display

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'T.M.I.F.'

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

"I'm having my entrails read."

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

'Please take your receipt!'

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

Right-thinking people against wrong-thinking people

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

Please help. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time.

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

Gates of heaven

Leaking Hudson River paintings.

"Of course there's an afterlife. It's called 'death'."

'You're proposing to me with, cubic zirconias?... But, you're a diamond dealer!'

Fish Baptism is by full emersion

"Of course no one wants a forest fire anywhere, anytime. It can be devastating. That's why I feel so guilty."

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

'I'm afraid Mr. Caldwell doesn't want to see you now. However, you're free to visit his web site.'

Priest's x-ray showing his crucifix.

The Old Enemies - Catholics and Protestants

'All the tellers are nuns.'

"No worries. I'm well-prepped and ready for anything they might throw at me."

Nativity - The sitcom