Divine Irony Enthusiast Gifts

'T.M.I.F.'

'Something tell me we should have been in church this Sunday.'

10 Commandments Bar.

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

Night-time halo

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

"OMG, LOL!"

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

"I'm having my entrails read."

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

Right-thinking people against wrong-thinking people

'You keep turning them out and I'll dig a parking garage.'

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

"Of course no one wants a forest fire anywhere, anytime. It can be devastating. That's why I feel so guilty."

Leaking Hudson River paintings.

Please help. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time.

'I want my lectures to have entertainment value.'

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

'You're proposing to me with, cubic zirconias?... But, you're a diamond dealer!'

'I'm afraid Mr. Caldwell doesn't want to see you now. However, you're free to visit his web site.'

An artist creates a sculpture of a "thumbs up" and is then crushed by it.

'5.40pm on the 2nd day....and still waiting for the surveyor'

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.

"When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the marital bonds which have connected her with another..."

"Oh sure, it's easy to blame your husband, when he's not here to defend himself."

Squirrel chopping wooden leg of lumberjack.

"No worries. I'm well-prepped and ready for anything they might throw at me."

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

"The house next door is slated for demolition, but your house is in the way."