Angelic Golfer Gifts

'I somehow always knew heaven would be like this!'

'This really is heaven! I don't have the yips anymore!'

You'll like playing golf up here. It's a private course only open to those who get past the pearly gates. The ball flies a long way because of the altitude! With wings, there's no need for golf carts. And the best thing is, you have all of eternity to improve your score! That still won't be enough time!

I'm not sure, but I like to think it's because I was always very careful to replace my divots.

Golf Sale

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

Angel doing the hula hoop.

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

Angel playing music

'I caught one, I actually caught one.'

"The wings are addictive."

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

Paradise FC: The Blessed Y The Rest.

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

Supply was out of harps.

'Whoa Hold up, You need to get you hand stamped,'

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

'Please hold for an eternity...'

'He made it big in the athlete prayer industry.'

"It's very nice. I just think they could add a spa."

"I can't hit a bad note to save my soul!"

And on the Seventh Day...

"So you can take it with you!"

'Wow... Here comes 'Holy' Andy Jones, king of headers!'

Death of the pope.

Umpire holds the halos of angels playing cricket.

'Well of course I believed, but I never really thought it was true.'

Basketball Halo

"Remember me? You caught me on the Beaverkill, opening day, 1952."

"No prizes for guessing who's been sucking up to the boss!"

Angel

'I see my wife made it in.'

'I would have taken it with me but the Inland Revenue got it all before I left.'

'Well, what do you think of the new BOOYA halo?'

Heavenly politics. Campaigns here are different from those down on earth. Saint Peter has a complete file on everybody, so there's total transparency up here. Our debates are friendly and the ads are all positive. And here the incumbent in the highest office always runs unopposed. That's all true, but in one way the camaigns up here are just like the ones on earth. They go on for eternity.