Ancient Traditions Fan Gifts

Viking Funeral

'It's an extinction notice.'

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

43AD: Romans invade Britain.

The Running of the Brie

'I don't care if it's a little storage room for King Tut, you still need a building permit and contractor's license.'

'Those were the days, eh Grandpa?'

4 Reasons People Love Oktoberfest

Oedipus

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.

'I think that our next door neighbor might have lived here.'

"All right, let's clam up, everybody. Here comes another expedition."

"Poor dear, she's just discovered all these years she's been the muse for a plagiarist."

'We started the extension then the property market collapsed.'

Pyramids exploding.

Ancient Greek setting. Man at desk writing on scroll says: 'Yes, they're draconian measures ??" but then, I am Draco.'

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

"Now if it's a people-mover you're after..."

"So we're agreed—free will exists, unless there are treats."

'It seems a lot of trouble to go through just to sharpen a razor blade.'

"Nothing feels better after a long day's hunting than a nice, long soak in the hot-wheel."

Easter Island Secret

'All this 'plane geometry' stuff is great, Euclid, but what if the Earth turns out to be round?'

"It's a land flowing with milk and honey, with a small but lively arts district."

"No, no, no! Thirty days hath September!"

Carpe diem

'It's amazing - the arrows seem to follow you around the cave'

Ancient Egyptian eye tests.

The real reason for the pyramids.

'The Ugoola's wheel is bigger than ours!'

'No wonder this is so hard to translate - it's a note from his doctor.'

'Wellington!...Come take a look at this!...I've never seen anything like it!...Some sort of early sun worship etching perhaps!'