Ancient Lifestyle Fan Gifts

'What's with this younger generation, man? That kid of mine is hooked on phonics.'

'It's an extinction notice.'

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

Punk Reindeer

"Shower beers? Aisle eight."

43AD: Romans invade Britain.

Jason and the Aga notes,

'I don't care if it's a little storage room for King Tut, you still need a building permit and contractor's license.'

'I think that our next door neighbor might have lived here.'

'Those were the days, eh Grandpa?'

Oedipus

"All right, let's clam up, everybody. Here comes another expedition."

"Poor dear, she's just discovered all these years she's been the muse for a plagiarist."

Pyramids exploding.

'I wouldn't bother. They're probably gluten-free vegetarians.'

"No flash in the ancient mummy gallery."

'We started the extension then the property market collapsed.'

'This is cow country, pal, and we're not real big on innovation.'

Ancient Greek setting. Man at desk writing on scroll says: 'Yes, they're draconian measures ??" but then, I am Draco.'

"So we're agreed—free will exists, unless there are treats."

"Now if it's a people-mover you're after..."

'It seems a lot of trouble to go through just to sharpen a razor blade.'

Easter Island Secret

"Nothing feels better after a long day's hunting than a nice, long soak in the hot-wheel."

"The coffee is free, but now we rent the tables."

'All this 'plane geometry' stuff is great, Euclid, but what if the Earth turns out to be round?'

"No, no, no! Thirty days hath September!"

"It's a land flowing with milk and honey, with a small but lively arts district."

Ancient Egyptian eye tests.

Carpe diem

'That's a bad omen no sooner does he invent the wheel than he has the first ever road traffic accident.'

The real reason for the pyramids.

'It's amazing - the arrows seem to follow you around the cave'

The pyramids were built using advanced alien knowledge.