Ancient Lifestyle Fan Gifts

'What's with this younger generation, man? That kid of mine is hooked on phonics.'

'It's an extinction notice.'

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

Punk Reindeer

43AD: Romans invade Britain.

"Shower beers? Aisle eight."

Hey, dad, do you think we could play something besides "catch"?

Jason and the Aga notes,

'I don't care if it's a little storage room for King Tut, you still need a building permit and contractor's license.'

'Those were the days, eh Grandpa?'

"All right, let's clam up, everybody. Here comes another expedition."

Oedipus

'I think that our next door neighbor might have lived here.'

"Poor dear, she's just discovered all these years she's been the muse for a plagiarist."

"No flash in the ancient mummy gallery."

'We started the extension then the property market collapsed.'

'I wouldn't bother. They're probably gluten-free vegetarians.'

'This is cow country, pal, and we're not real big on innovation.'

Pyramids exploding.

Ancient Greek setting. Man at desk writing on scroll says: 'Yes, they're draconian measures ??" but then, I am Draco.'

'It seems a lot of trouble to go through just to sharpen a razor blade.'

"So we're agreed—free will exists, unless there are treats."

'Et tu Yakamoto?'

"Now if it's a people-mover you're after..."

"Nothing feels better after a long day's hunting than a nice, long soak in the hot-wheel."

Easter Island Secret

"The coffee is free, but now we rent the tables."

'All this 'plane geometry' stuff is great, Euclid, but what if the Earth turns out to be round?'

"It's a land flowing with milk and honey, with a small but lively arts district."

"No, no, no! Thirty days hath September!"

Ancient Egyptian eye tests.

'That's a bad omen no sooner does he invent the wheel than he has the first ever road traffic accident.'

Carpe diem

'It's amazing - the arrows seem to follow you around the cave'

The real reason for the pyramids.