Ancient Texts Enthusiast Gifts

"They say - thou shalt disregard everything said so far - here are the real 10 commandments..."

Man embarrassed by a schoolboy's superior knowledge of Greek

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

"Is it (eye symbol) before (water symbol) or (water symbol) before (eye symbol)?"

IMHOtep

"No flash in the ancient mummy gallery."

'It appears to be a kosher for Passover recipe.'

Academic Boogie Down - 'Once you've taught Sanskrit, there is no going back to Caligula.'

'You'll like this book. It's all about imaginary people.'

Books of Tablets

"I can never remember, does 'barge' have one snake-head jackal, or two?"

And the Lord said: 'I created the universe. What on earth makes you think I'll be impressed by a dead goat?'

'That's a bad omen no sooner does he invent the wheel than he has the first ever road traffic accident.'

Mummies for Dummies

'Please hold your applause until I've read all ten.'

"He never lets you forget that he had a cameo in the Old Testament."

Egyptian Library: 'Every week you take out the same book, Anubis.'

"That's not what I said."

"You're positive we don't need these notarized?"

"When we get to the promised land I never want to even see a piece of mann again for as long as I live."

Grim Reaper enters classroom where he teaches dead languages.

Bertram de Born (The Divine Comedy).

'Want a good read Sex, violence, incest, murder Old Testament.'

Previously indecipherable, Professor Wiggins translates another ancient text using the newly discovered Rosetta phone.

ATM Inside

Talk like an Egyptian

Argonauts and football

'Definitely fake.'

Hippocrates

'This was a class in hieroglyphics as a second language.'