Ancient Text Enthusiast Gifts

"Oh, just hanging out, reading Upanishads."

Man embarrassed by a schoolboy's superior knowledge of Greek

"He never lets you forget that he had a cameo in the Old Testament."

'Gosh, Hasborne! You're quite right! It does say, 'Lesbians are Everywhere!''

How's my scribing?

IMHOtep

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"

I'll be honest, Jerry - When you invited me to join your book club, this is not what I expected.

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

"Is it (eye symbol) before (water symbol) or (water symbol) before (eye symbol)?"

'I see you both texted that you never talk.'

"No flash in the ancient mummy gallery."

'It appears to be a kosher for Passover recipe.'

I'm not sure which, but he's just invented either writing or vandalism.

"I can never remember, does 'barge' have one snake-head jackal, or two?"

Books of Tablets

Thracebook..

"Are you sure you need to make a large print version available?"

Academic Boogie Down - 'Once you've taught Sanskrit, there is no going back to Caligula.'

And the Lord said: 'I created the universe. What on earth makes you think I'll be impressed by a dead goat?'

'That's a bad omen no sooner does he invent the wheel than he has the first ever road traffic accident.'

Egyptian Library: 'Every week you take out the same book, Anubis.'

Mummies for Dummies

'Please hold your applause until I've read all ten.'

"That's not what I said."

"You're positive we don't need these notarized?"

"When we get to the promised land I never want to even see a piece of mann again for as long as I live."

Bertram de Born (The Divine Comedy).

"Oh, vowels are so 2019!"

Grim Reaper enters classroom where he teaches dead languages.

'Want a good read Sex, violence, incest, murder Old Testament.'

'Is the magic gone? We no longer text each other while in the same room anymore.'

Previously indecipherable, Professor Wiggins translates another ancient text using the newly discovered Rosetta phone.

ATM Inside