Ancient Text Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Oh, just hanging out, reading Upanishads."

Man embarrassed by a schoolboy's superior knowledge of Greek

"He never lets you forget that he had a cameo in the Old Testament."

'Gosh, Hasborne! You're quite right! It does say, 'Lesbians are Everywhere!''

IMHOtep

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

"Is it (eye symbol) before (water symbol) or (water symbol) before (eye symbol)?"

"No flash in the ancient mummy gallery."

'I see you both texted that you never talk.'

'It appears to be a kosher for Passover recipe.'

Academic Boogie Down - 'Once you've taught Sanskrit, there is no going back to Caligula.'

Books of Tablets

"I can never remember, does 'barge' have one snake-head jackal, or two?"

And the Lord said: 'I created the universe. What on earth makes you think I'll be impressed by a dead goat?'

'That's a bad omen no sooner does he invent the wheel than he has the first ever road traffic accident.'

'Please hold your applause until I've read all ten.'

Mummies for Dummies

Egyptian Library: 'Every week you take out the same book, Anubis.'

"That's not what I said."

"You're positive we don't need these notarized?"

"When we get to the promised land I never want to even see a piece of mann again for as long as I live."

"Oh, vowels are so 2019!"

Bertram de Born (The Divine Comedy).

'Is the magic gone? We no longer text each other while in the same room anymore.'

Grim Reaper enters classroom where he teaches dead languages.

'Want a good read Sex, violence, incest, murder Old Testament.'

Previously indecipherable, Professor Wiggins translates another ancient text using the newly discovered Rosetta phone.

ATM Inside

Hippocrates

Talk like an Egyptian

'Definitely fake.'

Argonauts and football