Ancient Script Enthusiasts T-Shirts

Proviso in hieroglyphics.

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

Man embarrassed by a schoolboy's superior knowledge of Greek

Hollywood producer.

Hollywood producer.

"Is it (eye symbol) before (water symbol) or (water symbol) before (eye symbol)?"

IMHOtep

"Great money scenes!"

"It's supposed to be a comedy, so I've had Steve, here, red-flag the funny parts."

'Yes, the colours are wonderful. But he only does five pages per month, and he doesn't support PostScript.'

"He's left a suicide screenplay."

"What are they complaining about?... The local content is the audience...

'It appears to be a kosher for Passover recipe.'

'It's 'big office' meets 'poorly-received flop'!'

"I can never remember, does 'barge' have one snake-head jackal, or two?"

'A series based on made-up stories with actors following scripts? Preposterous.'

"And here - take this Vin Diesel monologue with you!"

Academic Boogie Down - 'Once you've taught Sanskrit, there is no going back to Caligula.'

"I’ve gotta tell you, there’s a lot of demand for a sequel."

Scrip Doctor

And the Lord said: 'I created the universe. What on earth makes you think I'll be impressed by a dead goat?'

"Just got the script from the focus group. Fabulous!"

Subtitles for the Stupid

"He never lets you forget that he had a cameo in the Old Testament."

"Sure, it's a little formulaic but I love it!"

"If Neil Simon's going to keep writing them, we're going to keep seeing them."

Great script, great cinematography, great everything. But the whole 3D thing is lost on me.

Write a Screenplay

'I'm writing a screenplay that every studio in Hollywood will want to produce. It's about an honest, hard-working, moral CEO.'

Grim Reaper enters classroom where he teaches dead languages.