Ancient Texts Enthusiast Pillows

"They say - thou shalt disregard everything said so far - here are the real 10 commandments..."

Mount Olympus Brewery. Those might be dangerous to open. They're Pandora's Bocks.

Man embarrassed by a schoolboy's superior knowledge of Greek

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

"Is it (eye symbol) before (water symbol) or (water symbol) before (eye symbol)?"

IMHOtep

"No flash in the ancient mummy gallery."

'It appears to be a kosher for Passover recipe.'

"Are you sure you need to make a large print version available?"

Academic Boogie Down - 'Once you've taught Sanskrit, there is no going back to Caligula.'

"I can never remember, does 'barge' have one snake-head jackal, or two?"

'You'll like this book. It's all about imaginary people.'

I'm not sure which, but he's just invented either writing or vandalism.

Books of Tablets

And the Lord said: 'I created the universe. What on earth makes you think I'll be impressed by a dead goat?'

'That's a bad omen no sooner does he invent the wheel than he has the first ever road traffic accident.'

Egyptian Library: 'Every week you take out the same book, Anubis.'

"He never lets you forget that he had a cameo in the Old Testament."

Mummies for Dummies

'Please hold your applause until I've read all ten.'

"That's not what I said."

"You're positive we don't need these notarized?"

"When we get to the promised land I never want to even see a piece of mann again for as long as I live."

'Want a good read Sex, violence, incest, murder Old Testament.'

Grim Reaper enters classroom where he teaches dead languages.

Bertram de Born (The Divine Comedy).

Previously indecipherable, Professor Wiggins translates another ancient text using the newly discovered Rosetta phone.

ATM Inside

'Definitely fake.'

Argonauts and football

King Midas: The Golden Years

Hippocrates

'This was a class in hieroglyphics as a second language.'

Talk like an Egyptian