Ancient Script Enthusiast Pillows

"Father, try writing on this papyrus. What you're doing is so ancient school."

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

Man embarrassed by a schoolboy's superior knowledge of Greek

Actor practising his indian war crys

Mega Cosmic Films. It's about a squad of ninja nuns? Yes, we call it "Force of Habit"!

Hollywood producer.

Hollywood producer.

"Is it (eye symbol) before (water symbol) or (water symbol) before (eye symbol)?"

Ask Sadie! I just read an article where Daisy Ridley said J.J. Abrams wrote drafts for Episode VIII and Episode IX. And then Rian Johnson THREW THAT OUT and went a whole different direction. This makes me lose all faith in Star Wars. Am I overreacting? **Actual reader question. Excellent question. This reminds me of the time I saw Gone with the Wind on opening day. I was the invited guest of an elderly veteran of the Civil War. He couldn't stop yammering about how seceding from the union didn't

IMHOtep

"It's supposed to be a comedy, so I've had Steve, here, red-flag the funny parts."

"Great money scenes!"

'Yes, the colours are wonderful. But he only does five pages per month, and he doesn't support PostScript.'

"What are they complaining about?... The local content is the audience...

Welcome to ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? Theatre

"He's left a suicide screenplay."

'It appears to be a kosher for Passover recipe.'

"I can never remember, does 'barge' have one snake-head jackal, or two?"

I'm not sure which, but he's just invented either writing or vandalism.

'It's 'big office' meets 'poorly-received flop'!'

'A series based on made-up stories with actors following scripts? Preposterous.'

Scrip Doctor

Woody Allen

Academic Boogie Down - 'Once you've taught Sanskrit, there is no going back to Caligula.'

"I’ve gotta tell you, there’s a lot of demand for a sequel."

"And here - take this Vin Diesel monologue with you!"

"He never lets you forget that he had a cameo in the Old Testament."

"Just got the script from the focus group. Fabulous!"

Subtitles for the Stupid

"Sure, it's a little formulaic but I love it!"

Great script, great cinematography, great everything. But the whole 3D thing is lost on me.

Write a Screenplay

'I'm writing a screenplay that every studio in Hollywood will want to produce. It's about an honest, hard-working, moral CEO.'

Audition. Script. He plays every role with that scowl --- His motto is "Anything you can do, I can do bitter."