Ancient Stories Enthusiast Gifts

And the Lord said: 'I created the universe. What on earth makes you think I'll be impressed by a dead goat?'

"I need a companion."

Mount Olympus Brewery. Those might be dangerous to open. They're Pandora's Bocks.

Sphinx cat and mummy mouse

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

Neptune

"Here's the parking lot."

Mark Anthony on Zoom.

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.

Trojan horse with a satellite dish.

'Gee, I just never get tired of this!'

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

I came, I saw, I partied!

'Not only didn't he turn into a prince, but he gave me these awful warts!'

"No flash in the ancient mummy gallery."

"I am wearing sunglasses and using sunscreen with 50% UV protection. What could possibly go wrong?"

Archeologists discover Egyptian Computers.

"There was a time when I used to instil absolute terror into everybody..."

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

'I know what you're thinking.'

"He's good with crops, but slow to respond in an emergency."

'You'll like this book. It's all about imaginary people.'

"Are you sure you need to make a large print version available?"

'Yes, they've been fact-checked!'

Referees at the Original Olympics.

"Looks like we're in trouble now...he's got four bars on that thing."

'That's a bad omen no sooner does he invent the wheel than he has the first ever road traffic accident.'

How the Pyramid Was Really Formed...

Egyptian Library: 'Every week you take out the same book, Anubis.'

2 mummies...

Mummies for Dummies

Paul before Felix.

Aethel the Analyzed.

Department of Archaeology Floor Plan

"That's not what I said."