Ancient Texts Gifts

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"

Dead Sea Trolls

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"Meet the scribe"

Archimedes statue with a lever

'This has all the makings of a fable. But first lets take lots of tests.'

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

Playdough's The Republic

The Trojan Beagle.

"Wheel, schmeel—check these babies out!"

'The dreaded Anachronisaurus strikes again!'

"He conquered the known world - now all he's got is sudoku."

Neptune

Trojan Hurdler.

"I miss the Augean stables."

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

The Fall of Gnome

'Is there an E-Reader Edition?'

'Look! There's a Zyzzkzkk!'

'Caesar salad?'

Egyptian Football

Man embarrassed by a schoolboy's superior knowledge of Greek

43AD: Romans invade Britain.

"Oooh. . . I've got sand under my wrappings and it's so itchy. . !!"

Only then, did Medusa realise her mistake.

'O mighty gods! - May you grant us food, clothing, and shelter, and the wisdom to know the difference.'

"...and if you add wind-chill factor, the next plague will be even worse!"

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

'Why is it always me that has to put the cat out?'

Sharing the Bed with Zeno