Ancient Humorists Gifts

"They're in a statistical dead heat."

"I think the lines down!"

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

"Ooh look Derek. A shooting star. Quick make a wish"

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

"While you were working on fire, I was working on my satellite. Once we figure out how to launch it into the heavens, other inventions will follow, like phones, GPS, weather predictions. . ."

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

Early on-line shopping

"Take that mammoth back. It's not 'wooly' enough."

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

'We never had all these labour-saving devices in my young day!'

The discoverer of fire meets the discoverer of marijuana

"In two million years from now people like me will still be very rich tanks to idiots like you!"

'You can't believe a word he says since he invented the subjunctive.'

'The hard part will be writing the tutorial.'

Hedgehog holding sign saying 'the end is nigh' as man invents the wheel.

'I'm telling you Dad: Walking upright and using tools is the way of the future...'

Carbon Dating

'We had seven gloriously happy years together, and then he learned how to talk.'

"I think I know what your problem is. Not enough PR."

"I like the idea, but is it scaleable?"

'Yea, I give away the fire. I make my money on insurance.'

"Crap. I overslept."

'I wish we'd never invented talking — nagging was so much easier to take in sign language.'

Cave lady about cave boy with big rolling stone: 'Here comes Junior with his report card.'

The first unfriendly takeover

'Don't believe everything you read.'

Geekasaurus.

Garg saw the future, but didn't quite know what to do with it.

'Finally - an alternative source of energy!'

'I made your favorite -- dinosaurkraut!'