Ancient Humorist Gifts

A caveman with a bow and arrow shoots at a cranky mammoth but points at his friend who is holding a spear.

'You see, Thag? Names CAN break your bones. Especially when those names are carved on ROCKS.'

'...I thought maybe your brain had developed the ability to reason before mine.'

'Homos!'

The invention of the fag break.

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

"Ooh look Derek. A shooting star. Quick make a wish"

'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

"While you were working on fire, I was working on my satellite. Once we figure out how to launch it into the heavens, other inventions will follow, like phones, GPS, weather predictions. . ."

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

'You realize, of course, there's a seven-day waiting period.'

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

"Take that mammoth back. It's not 'wooly' enough."

Before putting on your armor...always check for mice!

Early on-line shopping

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

'We never had all these labour-saving devices in my young day!'

The discoverer of fire meets the discoverer of marijuana

"In two million years from now people like me will still be very rich tanks to idiots like you!"

'You can't believe a word he says since he invented the subjunctive.'

'The hard part will be writing the tutorial.'

Hedgehog holding sign saying 'the end is nigh' as man invents the wheel.

'I'm telling you Dad: Walking upright and using tools is the way of the future...'

Carbon Dating

"I think I know what your problem is. Not enough PR."

'We had seven gloriously happy years together, and then he learned how to talk.'

"Come on, Og, get with it. Everybody's putting their stuff on 'the cloud' these days."

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with prostate!'

"I like the idea, but is it scaleable?"

'Yea, I give away the fire. I make my money on insurance.'

Cave lady about cave boy with big rolling stone: 'Here comes Junior with his report card.'

'Finally - an alternative source of energy!'