Ancient Humorist Gifts

A caveman with a bow and arrow shoots at a cranky mammoth but points at his friend who is holding a spear.

'You see, Thag? Names CAN break your bones. Especially when those names are carved on ROCKS.'

'Homos!'

The invention of the fag break.

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

"Ooh look Derek. A shooting star. Quick make a wish"

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

"While you were working on fire, I was working on my satellite. Once we figure out how to launch it into the heavens, other inventions will follow, like phones, GPS, weather predictions. . ."

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

'You realize, of course, there's a seven-day waiting period.'

"Take that mammoth back. It's not 'wooly' enough."

Before putting on your armor...always check for mice!

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

Early on-line shopping

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

'We never had all these labour-saving devices in my young day!'

"In two million years from now people like me will still be very rich tanks to idiots like you!"

The discoverer of fire meets the discoverer of marijuana

'You can't believe a word he says since he invented the subjunctive.'

'The hard part will be writing the tutorial.'

Hedgehog holding sign saying 'the end is nigh' as man invents the wheel.

'I'm telling you Dad: Walking upright and using tools is the way of the future...'

Carbon Dating

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with prostate!'

"I think I know what your problem is. Not enough PR."

'We had seven gloriously happy years together, and then he learned how to talk.'

"I like the idea, but is it scaleable?"

'Yea, I give away the fire. I make my money on insurance.'

Garg saw the future, but didn't quite know what to do with it.

'I made your favorite -- dinosaurkraut!'

'Finally - an alternative source of energy!'

'Don't believe everything you read.'

Geekasaurus.