Prehistory Humorist Gifts

"My parents hate it."

Shopping for Organic Food

"If you're tired of stegosaur, go kill something else."

Jurassic Parking Lot

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

"Ooh look Derek. A shooting star. Quick make a wish"

'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

"While you were working on fire, I was working on my satellite. Once we figure out how to launch it into the heavens, other inventions will follow, like phones, GPS, weather predictions. . ."

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

'You realize, of course, there's a seven-day waiting period.'

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

"Take that mammoth back. It's not 'wooly' enough."

"I've considered portraiture, but everyone is so ugly."

Early on-line shopping

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

The discoverer of fire meets the discoverer of marijuana

"Don't bother gathering carbs for me, I'm on the Paleo diet."

"I don't care what it was or how hard it was to kill. It makes me look fat."

'You can't believe a word he says since he invented the subjunctive.'

'The hard part will be writing the tutorial.'

Hedgehog holding sign saying 'the end is nigh' as man invents the wheel.

"Is it free-range?"

'I'm telling you Dad: Walking upright and using tools is the way of the future...'

Carbon Dating

"Why T-Rexes do not play volleyball..."

"I think I know what your problem is. Not enough PR."

They discover fire and we spend all day cooking!

'We had seven gloriously happy years together, and then he learned how to talk.'

"Google Earth must have a defective camera. There's a big red spot above our location."

'Gentlemen, invent your engines.'

"I gotta flat. Can you get the spear out of the trunk."