Prehistoric Humorists Gifts

"I should start a podcast."

"Crap. I overslept."

'And hurry up!- We're almost out of diapers!'

Geekasaurus.

"If you're tired of stegosaur, go kill something else."

Jurassic Parking Lot

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

"Ooh look Derek. A shooting star. Quick make a wish"

'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'

Men: Hating chick flicks since 1623.

"Hipsters"

"While you were working on fire, I was working on my satellite. Once we figure out how to launch it into the heavens, other inventions will follow, like phones, GPS, weather predictions. . ."

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

'You realize, of course, there's a seven-day waiting period.'

The Kids' Table at the Last Supper

Another Turning Point in History. Oh, the heck with it -- I'll never get these antlers right. Mickey Moose.

Early on-line shopping

"I've considered portraiture, but everyone is so ugly."

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

'What distinguishes man from the lower animals is the ability to make tools.'

"Take that mammoth back. It's not 'wooly' enough."

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

"Great, just great! And while you're in here, potchkeeing around with paint, Seymour Rabinowitz in the cave next door is inventing fire already!"

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'

'Man. Piltdown Man.'

The discoverer of fire meets the discoverer of marijuana

Unknowingly, with one swish of his blood soaked mammoth tail he was inflicting pain and suffering on billions of unborn people. Home decorating had been invented.

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

Medieval headlines.

"Don't bother gathering carbs for me, I'm on the Paleo diet."