Prehistoric Comedians Gifts

It went out. The program must have crashed.

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

"Ooh look Derek. A shooting star. Quick make a wish"

'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

As the world emerges from the last ice age Ug & Og discuss a historic agreement to reduce CO2 emissions from woolly mammoth barbecues.

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

"While you were working on fire, I was working on my satellite. Once we figure out how to launch it into the heavens, other inventions will follow, like phones, GPS, weather predictions. . ."

'You realize, of course, there's a seven-day waiting period.'

This side is the gag reel.

Early on-line shopping

"Take that mammoth back. It's not 'wooly' enough."

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

'You can't believe a word he says since he invented the subjunctive.'

'The hard part will be writing the tutorial.'

Hedgehog holding sign saying 'the end is nigh' as man invents the wheel.

'I'm telling you Dad: Walking upright and using tools is the way of the future...'

"Why T-Rexes do not play volleyball..."

Carbon Dating

" ... and if we finish pillaging early enough, we can still catch the evening Zumba class on the after deck."

"I think I know what your problem is. Not enough PR."

They discover fire and we spend all day cooking!

'We had seven gloriously happy years together, and then he learned how to talk.'

"I like the idea, but is it scaleable?"

'Yea, I give away the fire. I make my money on insurance.'

"I told you not to leave without taking out the garbage!"

Geekasaurus.

Cave lady about cave boy with big rolling stone: 'Here comes Junior with his report card.'

"Crap. I overslept."

'Finally - an alternative source of energy!'

"If you don't stop doing that, your faces will stick that way!"

The first unfriendly takeover

'Don't believe everything you read.'