Ancient Egypt Buffs Pillows

"The Great Ikeamids"

Tourists

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

'I'm sure he was a great guy, but there's a new Pharaoh in town.'

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

A child at a museum starts to pull the wrappings off a mummy.

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

The Fall of Gnome

'What distinguishes man from the lower animals is the ability to make tools.'

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

'Who's the new guy?'

"Have your people call my people."

The Tutankhamen Expedition 1908 (The Economy Version).

"Stanley, this is a historic moment. We've discovered the world's longest kiss. Guinness Book of Records here we come!"

No, no, Grok, we love your creative voice! Ort is just here to do a little punch-up.

Curse or not, Dave had to pass this exam.

'Why is it always me that has to put the cat out?'

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

Unknowingly, with one swish of his blood soaked mammoth tail he was inflicting pain and suffering on billions of unborn people. Home decorating had been invented.

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

"Oh look Pharaoh a miniature replica of your final resting place."

The Birth of the Pyramid Marketing Sales Scam (circa 4,000 BC)

Mummy Busks For Coins For His Cases