Ancient Egyptian Enthusiast Pillows

"I can't read a thing. They all must have been doctors."

'Doctor, I need you to look at something.'

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

Pyramid Handicap Parking

'We'll have to redesign it. Whenever the Pharoah's wife tries to sunbathe on the roof, she slides off.'

"Have your people call my people."

Curse or not, Dave had to pass this exam.

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

"Oh look Pharaoh a miniature replica of your final resting place."

The Birth of the Pyramid Marketing Sales Scam (circa 4,000 BC)

Mummy Busks For Coins For His Cases

'Thank goodness next week we'll be in a new dynasty and we can make some other style of pottery.'

'So, Pharaoh, what sort of collateral do you have to put down on this $2 billion Great Pyramid you want to build?'

The Day When The Curse Of The Mummy Lost It's Horror. . .

"No flash in the ancient mummy gallery."

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with a prostate!'

In udder de Nile

Ancient Grammar Police: 'Oh, for cryin' out loud...you never end a sentence with a . . .'

How to create a password you can remember...

"You're right! It is a mezuzah!"

'I know it's only a dummy run...but I'm telling you there's no wi fi signal in the tomb.'

'The spheres keep rolling away, Your Majesty -- how about we just build a pyramid?'

'The spheres keep rolling away, Your Majesty -- how about we just build a pyramid?'

"Nice job, but there in the middle, I think you spelled Akhenaten wrong."

'Mummy' clocking into to work

"Just so you know, I'm taking all this with me into the afterlife."

"We're pretty sure it's the West Nile Virus."

"Could you explain this 2500 year gap in your resume?"

'That's a bad omen no sooner does he invent the wheel than he has the first ever road traffic accident.'

Mummy Toilet Roll.

"What's a two-dimensional picture for 'rhymes with blinks?'"