Pharaoh Enthusiast Pillows

"It's obvious you're in d'Nile!"

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

"Here's the parking lot."

"I thought I told you to employ a reputable building firm"

Pyramid Handicap Parking

'We'll have to redesign it. Whenever the Pharoah's wife tries to sunbathe on the roof, she slides off.'

'I don't care if it's a little storage room for King Tut, you still need a building permit and contractor's license.'

"Have your people call my people."

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

The Birth of the Pyramid Marketing Sales Scam (circa 4,000 BC)

"Oh look Pharaoh a miniature replica of your final resting place."

Curse or not, Dave had to pass this exam.

Mummy Busks For Coins For His Cases

How they did it . . .

'Thank goodness next week we'll be in a new dynasty and we can make some other style of pottery.'

"Well. . . either it's sinking, or you got the measurements wrong. . .!"

The Day When The Curse Of The Mummy Lost It's Horror. . .

'So, Pharaoh, what sort of collateral do you have to put down on this $2 billion Great Pyramid you want to build?'

"No flash in the ancient mummy gallery."

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with a prostate!'

In udder de Nile

Ancient Grammar Police: 'Oh, for cryin' out loud...you never end a sentence with a . . .'

How to create a password you can remember...

"Call yourself a fortune teller? I've never even heard of the Cairo museum!"

'At a guess I'd say it's one of the lesser Pharoahs.'

An Ant's nest in the form of a Pyramid

'I know it's only a dummy run...but I'm telling you there's no wi fi signal in the tomb.'

"Tut's outdone himself this time."

'The spheres keep rolling away, Your Majesty -- how about we just build a pyramid?'

Mummy Tourists