Pharaoh Enthusiast Gifts

"It's obvious you're in d'Nile!"

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

"Here's the parking lot."

"I thought I told you to employ a reputable building firm"

'I don't care if it's a little storage room for King Tut, you still need a building permit and contractor's license.'

'We'll have to redesign it. Whenever the Pharoah's wife tries to sunbathe on the roof, she slides off.'

Pyramid Handicap Parking

"Have your people call my people."

"Oh look Pharaoh a miniature replica of your final resting place."

The Birth of the Pyramid Marketing Sales Scam (circa 4,000 BC)

Curse or not, Dave had to pass this exam.

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

'Thank goodness next week we'll be in a new dynasty and we can make some other style of pottery.'

How they did it . . .

Mummy Busks For Coins For His Cases

"Well. . . either it's sinking, or you got the measurements wrong. . .!"

'So, Pharaoh, what sort of collateral do you have to put down on this $2 billion Great Pyramid you want to build?'

"No flash in the ancient mummy gallery."

The Day When The Curse Of The Mummy Lost It's Horror. . .

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with a prostate!'

In udder de Nile

Ancient Grammar Police: 'Oh, for cryin' out loud...you never end a sentence with a . . .'

How to create a password you can remember...

"Call yourself a fortune teller? I've never even heard of the Cairo museum!"

'At a guess I'd say it's one of the lesser Pharoahs.'

'I know it's only a dummy run...but I'm telling you there's no wi fi signal in the tomb.'

An Ant's nest in the form of a Pyramid

'The spheres keep rolling away, Your Majesty -- how about we just build a pyramid?'

"Don't worry - if we double the minimum wage it will still be nothing."

'Mummy' clocking into to work