Pharaoh Fanatic Gifts

"Here's the parking lot."

'This prescription looks as though the doctor wrote it in Greek.'

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

"So, what did you do at charter school today?"

Ghost School.

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

Horror Stories.

"Have your people call my people."

'Relax, we're letting you go. Your insurance didn't go through.'

Prehistoric Peeps: Even the 'Derby' had its primeval counterpart.

How they did it . . .

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

'Oi! Man is not a political animal in here!'

'This is gluten free, isn't it?'

"Well. . . either it's sinking, or you got the measurements wrong. . .!"

The first microscope capable of seeing the number of angels dancing on the head of a pin.

"Really! A firecracker! Test his nerves! Where do you come up with these stupid ideas?"

"The issues are a big snore, Dave. Let's talk about my hair on fire."

"Call yourself a fortune teller? I've never even heard of the Cairo museum!"

Lazy man contemplates the moment of creation.

'Honey! I'm cave!' (a caveman arrives home)

"I like fountains very much!"

'At a guess I'd say it's one of the lesser Pharoahs.'

Digital TV presents "It's true there really is a channel for everyone"

"Is there a God?"

Teacher of the Year: "Accepting for Susan Curtis is her clinical psychologist."

'Tsk...woolly thinking again.'

Some moss pounces on a rolling stone.

"When I grow up, I want to impeach a president."

'We think, therefore we are a tank.'

"Ye God's... That was close."

'Treasure map nothing! This shows the location of the only coffee shop on the island.'

'Behold! The curse of the pharaoh!'

"One day son, all this will be going with me."