Ancient Egypt Aficionado Pillows

"Have your people call my people."

'You're so soft today. Did you switch to 2-ply?'

'Look, he's wrapped in red tape. we've discovered the first bureaucrat.'

"Do you have anything for flaky skin. . . ?"

"Wait, is this a pyramid scheme?"

"Basically I like it, but lose the dormer winow!"

"I'm going to refer you to an ankhologist."

Lav-Mummie

Great. Another bandage.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Moses.

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

The Lesser Pyramids

'Well yes, my trainer told me to concentrate on lighter weights with many reps. He said it will build more defined muscle that way.'

Mummy Poo

'Sorry, but I'll have to call back...I'm all wrapped up at the moment.'

"Apparently, this curse has a lot more going for it than we figured."

"This one was built with American aid."

"Actually, we're worth a fortune but it's mostly on papyrus."

Stretching Sphinx

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

"Have you been playing dice?"

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

'The dreaded Anachronisaurus strikes again!'

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

Those Were The Days

Sphinx Comes Alive

"Oooh. . . I've got sand under my wrappings and it's so itchy. . !!"

Curse or not, Dave had to pass this exam.

The Birth of the Pyramid Marketing Sales Scam (circa 4,000 BC)

"Oh look Pharaoh a miniature replica of your final resting place."

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

Mummy Busks For Coins For His Cases

'Thank goodness next week we'll be in a new dynasty and we can make some other style of pottery.'