Ancient Egypt Aficionados Pillows

"I know, but my mom knitted it for me."

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

Sundial Time

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

"Have your people call my people."

Curse or not, Dave had to pass this exam.

"Oh look Pharaoh a miniature replica of your final resting place."

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

The Birth of the Pyramid Marketing Sales Scam (circa 4,000 BC)

Mummy Busks For Coins For His Cases

'Thank goodness next week we'll be in a new dynasty and we can make some other style of pottery.'

'So, Pharaoh, what sort of collateral do you have to put down on this $2 billion Great Pyramid you want to build?'

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with a prostate!'

Ancient Grammar Police: 'Oh, for cryin' out loud...you never end a sentence with a . . .'

How to create a password you can remember...

'I know it's only a dummy run...but I'm telling you there's no wi fi signal in the tomb.'

'Looks like they were sun worshippers.'

'Mummy' clocking into to work

Socrates, 399 B.C: 'Wow, I could have had a V-8.'

'The spheres keep rolling away, Your Majesty -- how about we just build a pyramid?'

'The spheres keep rolling away, Your Majesty -- how about we just build a pyramid?'

"Just so you know, I'm taking all this with me into the afterlife."

"We're pretty sure it's the West Nile Virus."

Mummy Toilet Roll.

"Look - I've just invented the spade!..."

"Could you explain this 2500 year gap in your resume?"

Mummies for Dummies

The Lesser Pyramids

Spaghetti Mummy

"In case I need to jot done an idea in the night."

"What's a two-dimensional picture for 'rhymes with blinks?'"

"The pharaoh wanted the carvings on that wall."