Ancient Egypt Fanatic Pillows

"Harumph! - Grave robbing I'd call it...!"

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

"Here's the parking lot."

"Have your people call my people."

Curse or not, Dave had to pass this exam.

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

"Oh look Pharaoh a miniature replica of your final resting place."

The Birth of the Pyramid Marketing Sales Scam (circa 4,000 BC)

Mummy Busks For Coins For His Cases

'Thank goodness next week we'll be in a new dynasty and we can make some other style of pottery.'

'So, Pharaoh, what sort of collateral do you have to put down on this $2 billion Great Pyramid you want to build?'

The Day When The Curse Of The Mummy Lost It's Horror. . .

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with a prostate!'

In udder de Nile

Ancient Grammar Police: 'Oh, for cryin' out loud...you never end a sentence with a . . .'

How to create a password you can remember...

'I know it's only a dummy run...but I'm telling you there's no wi fi signal in the tomb.'

'Mummy' clocking into to work

'The spheres keep rolling away, Your Majesty -- how about we just build a pyramid?'

'The spheres keep rolling away, Your Majesty -- how about we just build a pyramid?'

"Nice job, but there in the middle, I think you spelled Akhenaten wrong."

"Just so you know, I'm taking all this with me into the afterlife."

"We're pretty sure it's the West Nile Virus."

Mummy Toilet Roll.

"Could you explain this 2500 year gap in your resume?"

Mummies for Dummies

"What's a two-dimensional picture for 'rhymes with blinks?'"

"He died young."

"In case I need to jot done an idea in the night."

'Sorry, but I'll have to call back...I'm all wrapped up at the moment.'

'Unleashing that ancient curse has done wonders for my cardio.'