Ancient Egyptian Fan Pillows

"Nice job, but there in the middle, I think you spelled Akhenaten wrong."

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

Lessons in Prehistory.

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

Jason and the Aga notes,

Egyptian chiropractor.

Early accounting scandals.

"I thought I told you to employ a reputable building firm"

"Have your people call my people."

Curse or not, Dave had to pass this exam.

'It's a 'graphic novel.''

Sphinx Food

The Tutankhamen Expedition 1908 (The Economy Version).

'I think that our next door neighbor might have lived here.'

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

"Oh look Pharaoh a miniature replica of your final resting place."

The Birth of the Pyramid Marketing Sales Scam (circa 4,000 BC)

How they did it . . .

'Thank goodness next week we'll be in a new dynasty and we can make some other style of pottery.'

Mummy Busks For Coins For His Cases

"Well. . . either it's sinking, or you got the measurements wrong. . .!"

'So, Pharaoh, what sort of collateral do you have to put down on this $2 billion Great Pyramid you want to build?'

PHARMACY, 'Tell Hippocrates to write his prescriptions in Greek -- I can't read Babylonian!'

Prehistoric Modern Art

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with a prostate!'

"Do you think the world really is going to hell, or are we just getting old?"

Ancient Grammar Police: 'Oh, for cryin' out loud...you never end a sentence with a . . .'

How to create a password you can remember...

"Call yourself a fortune teller? I've never even heard of the Cairo museum!"

'At a guess I'd say it's one of the lesser Pharoahs.'

'I know it's only a dummy run...but I'm telling you there's no wi fi signal in the tomb.'