Ancient Egyptian Fan Gifts

"Nice job, but there in the middle, I think you spelled Akhenaten wrong."

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

Lessons in Prehistory.

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

Jason and the Aga notes,

Egyptian chiropractor.

Early accounting scandals.

"I thought I told you to employ a reputable building firm"

"Have your people call my people."

"Oh look Pharaoh a miniature replica of your final resting place."

Sphinx Food

Curse or not, Dave had to pass this exam.

The Tutankhamen Expedition 1908 (The Economy Version).

The Birth of the Pyramid Marketing Sales Scam (circa 4,000 BC)

'It's a 'graphic novel.''

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

'I think that our next door neighbor might have lived here.'

How they did it . . .

Mummy Busks For Coins For His Cases

'Thank goodness next week we'll be in a new dynasty and we can make some other style of pottery.'

"Well. . . either it's sinking, or you got the measurements wrong. . .!"

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with a prostate!'

"Do you think the world really is going to hell, or are we just getting old?"

'So, Pharaoh, what sort of collateral do you have to put down on this $2 billion Great Pyramid you want to build?'

PHARMACY, 'Tell Hippocrates to write his prescriptions in Greek -- I can't read Babylonian!'

Prehistoric Modern Art

Ancient Grammar Police: 'Oh, for cryin' out loud...you never end a sentence with a . . .'

How to create a password you can remember...

"Call yourself a fortune teller? I've never even heard of the Cairo museum!"

'At a guess I'd say it's one of the lesser Pharoahs.'

'I know it's only a dummy run...but I'm telling you there's no wi fi signal in the tomb.'