Ancient Egypt Buffs Gifts

"The Great Ikeamids"

Tourists

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

'I'm sure he was a great guy, but there's a new Pharaoh in town.'

A child at a museum starts to pull the wrappings off a mummy.

The Fall of Gnome

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

"When I said make it RIGHT, I meant correctly."

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

'What distinguishes man from the lower animals is the ability to make tools.'

Maybe the gods aren't angry. Maybe the gods are just yanking our chain.

Humanities 101. I hear you're reading Greek plays in there. Yeah, it's a real Medea blitz!

'Who's the new guy?'

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

"Have your people call my people."

"Stanley, this is a historic moment. We've discovered the world's longest kiss. Guinness Book of Records here we come!"

Curse or not, Dave had to pass this exam.

No, no, Grok, we love your creative voice! Ort is just here to do a little punch-up.

"...it was believed that anyone who displeased it would meet with a terrible fate, which of course is complete nonsen..."

Unknowingly, with one swish of his blood soaked mammoth tail he was inflicting pain and suffering on billions of unborn people. Home decorating had been invented.

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

'Why is it always me that has to put the cat out?'

The Tutankhamen Expedition 1908 (The Economy Version).

"Oh look Pharaoh a miniature replica of your final resting place."

The Birth of the Pyramid Marketing Sales Scam (circa 4,000 BC)

Litter Tray Stonehenge

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'