Ancient Artifact Lover Gifts

'Ancient bones. Early man. Valuable. Probably Uncle Fred.'

"The only artifact that's lasted 4,000 years appears to be the sacrificial fruitcake."

Fertility goddess. Nanny goddess.

Julius is writing a memoir of his youth, but doesn't know what to call it. "Caesar's Salad Days"!

Hadrian's Wall

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

An ancient Egyptian exhibit at a museum.

"I'm having my entrails read."

Goddess

"Yes, but this one is made of Chiclets."

Reluctantly, Indiana Jones reaches for the true cup of Christ.

"You don't look a day over 30,000."

This will really mess with their minds someday.

Egyptian Mummy/Egyptian Mummy and Toddler.

"No flash in the ancient mummy gallery."

"You're right! It is a mezuzah!"

"Now we're leaving the hall of stuff we stole from other cultures and entering the hall of stuff we paid too much for."

'Oooh, she has your eyes Horus.'

Ancient Egyptian crime scenes.

"I love it!"

'Good heavens, Foster, we seem to have stumbled upon man's earliest attempt at cartooning!'

Park and Ride dilema

"Heads-up, the tourists are coming."

Museum.

Mummy Musician

"Aha! - Proof that this is definitely an iron-age site..."

Stonehenge Books

'That's a bad omen no sooner does he invent the wheel than he has the first ever road traffic accident.'

Cleopatra

"Ok, I've translated it, it says 'Feeling cute, might delete later'."

Venus

'It says I can't access Pharaoh's tablet unless I'm on his buddies list.'

Hieroglyph stamps.

"I don't know man. It sounds a lot like a pyramid scheme to me."

"Look what I found. You wouldn't believe the things that people throw out."