Ancient Artifact Appreciators Gifts

Archeology Dept. Storage. Ernie, this box should be labeled "unidentified pottery fragments," not "pots unknown."

Long before the GPS, traveling humans found their way around by using an Atlas.

Hadrian's Wall

Finally! A cure for the common cold!

Posh Easter Egg

Pandora's Change Purse...

This will really mess with their minds someday.

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

"You're right! It is a mezuzah!"

"Don't you sometimes worry that if they do give us our stuff back we'll lose some of the sense of grievance that's so crucial to our cultural identity?"

Museum.

"Your antique gold watch didn't float."

"Maybe it needs a caption."

"Aha! - Proof that this is definitely an iron-age site..."

Carbon Dating Agency

"I knew you was mad when you tried to sell me to them "American Pickers" fellers."

"Look what I found. You wouldn't believe the things that people throw out."

Scary things in the museum

First aid and sculpture

'It's hard to look intimidating with this feather thing going on.'

"Careful now. It's fragile."

"I may not have invented the wheel or discovered fire, but I am the first to comment visually on their impact on our lives."

"This coin must be 2,000 years old. Try not to put this one in a pop machine."

National Pottery Live

Keister Island

Archaeologist blows his nose on a mummy's bandage.

'Ever try beating a ploughshare into a sword?'

'Things really change fast now. There's an original i-pad.'

Man looking at 2 stone godesses, one with many arms, one with many breasts.

Ancient man

British Museum: "There's nowt British in there!"

"I don't know who on Facebook told you, but I can assure you Stradivarius didn't make accordions!"

An ancient Roman looks at a the bottom of a clay pot and sees a bar code.

Archaeologists

"THIS is the cup of a Carpenter."