Ancient Artifact Admirer Gifts

"Harakhty is the strong, silent type."

"I may not have invented the wheel or discovered fire, but I am the first to comment visually on their impact on our lives."

"Look what I found. You wouldn't believe the things that people throw out."

Andy somehow becomes incarcerated with an archaeologist-turned convicted felon.

Ancient Scroll.

Customs examination

Museum.

'Ed, can you make this out? Which is men and which is women?'

'I believe it roughly translates as 'Free Prize Inside.''

Archaeologist blows his nose on a mummy's bandage.

"Hey you! Put it back!"

Hadrian's Wall

Scary things in the museum

British Museum: "There's nowt British in there!"

"Note the arrangement of stones, the primitive inscriptions and drawings... Hopkins! We've discovered a prehistoric cartoon-a-day calendar!"

Anthropologists discover the earliest known depiction of Jazz Hands.

'This will be great for chase scenes.'

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

This side is the gag reel.

A child at a museum starts to pull the wrappings off a mummy.

Three street vendors sit side by side selling their art; two of the vendors are selling normal paintings while the third is a Neanderthal selling cave paintings.

Museum. Hours. You're donating your collection of pre-Columbian art? Yes! What's Mayan is yours!

Piles of trash discarded by ancient people are a rich source of artifacts for archaeologists. I unearthed garbage dumps that advanced our understanding of prehistoric societies. On the island of Crete I found ancient trash that increased our knowledge about the Minoan people. And I recently uncovered informative Celtic rubbish. Please stop saying studying ancient cultures by what they threw away is "junk science"!

Caveman invents an armchair and his dog sits in it.

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

Posh Easter Egg

Souvenirs.

Goddess of Fertility garden feature

This will really mess with their minds someday.

"Agreed. They were undoubtedly sack religious."

Pompeii restoration project.

"I get it!"

Dog finds a nice bone at the museum.

"You're right! It is a mezuzah!"

"Why the hell would you want a bison on your arm?"