Analogy Aficionado Gifts

Miss Underhill's School Of Writing Sample Lesson

'The way I see it, money is like a big manure pile, it's no good unless you spread it around.'

'I work like a horse and eat like a bird.'

'I was betting you wouldn't show.'

"Sorry. My Analogy broke down.

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

I.T. Fear

Child's Drawing (With Elephantiasis)

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

'I know we're inchworms, but let's get into the spirit of this! Change is good!'

'It's a novel based on a movie adapted from a magazine article that was inspired by a video game.'

"It said this 'Spilt Coffee' series afforded her a lifetime of lattes."

'Wow, talk about genius!'

'I'm going to add to the confusion. I'm going to sign my name upside-down.'

"My Gmail account is full. I can't get any more email." "So?" "I'll miss email. It was so old-timey. You could write hundreds or even thousands of words, with actual paragraphs." "People didn't see any little animations to show them you were typing. They had to actually wonder if you were going to reply." "And the spam was fun. You never got to hear from Nigerian princes while you're checking your texts." "Just delete stuff." "If you delete a few gigs of old emails, you'll be able to get n

"Outré or simply bad?"

"Oh, and add a couple of intentional typos to my weekly email update...I want to appear warm and authentic!!"

"Knowing all the weather rock lore doesn't really count toward the weather badge."

"A conundrum, rather than an outright mess, I think, Mrs Ellis..."

'You're no Pollock.'

'This is the painting he was about to start when he shot himself.'

Jackson Pollock makes a mistake: 'Guess I'll have to start over.'

'We don't have anyone here by that name. Was he perhaps using one of his aliases?'

"...and right here in Q2 is where the 'you know what' hit the fan. . ."

"Is that all you can say - 'It's not messy'?"

"It's a cautionary tale about why we shouldn't cut arts funding in schools."

"Is this 'pollocks'."

'How about that? -- Lady Godiva got a bouffant!'

'I was just remembering the good old days - I had two of them!'

'Here's a deal! Buy 6 ebooks and they send you a candle that smells like a book.'

Lacks Structure and Meaning

"The best thing is he works without WiFi or a data plan."

"I suffer for my art..."

Jimmy Mussolini With "Leon""Precious I cannot be. One more allusion to Gilgamesh and I'll trash out. I make mistakes, just like you, every day. This may be one of them. I'll take the money and walk."

Millais - Cubist Period