Analytic Aficionado Gifts

Bertrand Russell.

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

Gunter Grass

Schrodinger's Black Box

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

Stephen Spender.

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

Noel Coward.

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

Sherlock Holmes Museum: No Hounds.

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'

Ironing Punctuation

My Literary Influences

"Wait, wait, back up, back up. Who the #!@! is George Orwell?"

Frontispiece to 'Dombey and Son'

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

"First, we'll look for repressed memories of malpractice suits."

'Oh no! Is this a blogger I saw before me?'

'Excellent job, Fenwick, especially the part where you employ Magic Realism to fudge third-quarter earnings!'

"You have to pick the places you don't walk away from."—Joan Didion, Penny, Joan Didion.

'I don't know whether to put it in for the Turner Prize or go for the Poet Laureate.'

Library

A vicar is reading 'The Great Begatsby' written by Abraham.

"Well, the falcon cannot hear the falconer, but the rough beast found a piece of string so I don't know where that leaves us."

'Ignore them, Charlie. They're nothing but philistines. I liked your poetry, truly I did!'

"Leon, do you think it's all psychological?"

A gorilla plays chess with his keeper.

'Gee, I just never get tired of this!'

Corporate Darwinism

Boardroom sacrifice - 'Then we agree - the shareholders don't have to know what transpired here today.'

Max Weber