Analog Communicator Gifts

All the kids are doing this "distant messaging" thing I don't understand. Boom bamba bambam.

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

21st century water cooler conversations.

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

Help! I'm ROFL and ICGU!

This is a 'text book' it's a bit like a website but printed on paper.

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

"Textin’"

"Did you get my tweet?"

"The man who invented autocorrect died from the corona vibrator."

"We hardly ever intercept hard copy notes anymore, Stanley."

"Don't even think about it."

I just hope my doctor is not on twitter too!

'Stop emailing me, I am standing right here.'

Spam in Hell.

"Instead of wagging my tail, running around and jumping all over you, I sent you an E-card."

'Hey! I sad, 'You've got mail!''

"Ugh—someone in the group chat must have seen a squirrel."

'This is a letter opener, from the days before faxes and email. I just sold it online after I listed it as a vintage communication device.'

Man from refuse department says: 'We'll send you a new wheelie bin, Mrs Trubshaw, there's really no need to 'orchestrate a mass Twitter campaign'.'

So, if you don't get this mail because I wrote the wrong address again, please reply to me a.s.a.p. Best, Bob

Aluminium Henge

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

'The smart phone is amazing you can contact anybody in the world.'

"Siri meets Alexa" "What can I help you with?" "I'm sorry, I can't answer that."

"Go ahead—unmute yourself."

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

"Don't talk to me in your 'Hey Siri' voice."

"Outta my way. I need to check my email!"

"I'm so overloaded with emails, just one monitor wasn't enough to handle them all."

"I'll have to get someone younger to look at your résumé. I'm not fluent in emoji."

Mime marriage.

Messenger of the gods in the digital age.