Retro Communicator Gifts

"I'm well aware that your e-mail isn't working. I got your first message."

'It's just like e-mail, only you hear people talking.'

"You know I hate when you check your messages at the table."

'We forgot to pay the phone bill.'

'Smoke signals, sign language, bird calls. . . enough of the social networking!!!'

'When my phone broke, we stopped texting and started talking again. I couldn't get a new phone fast enough.'

'I've forgotten my phone - please talk to me.'

1876 - Alexander Graham Bell made the world's first telephone call.

'No wonder we couldn't read it...it's exhaust smoke from a car in need of emission repair.'

'Don't you dare to burn the food because you're texting with your buddies!'

Beachcomber sees that smartphone displays 'message in a bottle.'

John's Early Attempts at Direct Messaging Proved Futile.

'Letters, letters, letters - why can't you learn to text?'

Pin The Tail On The Grandfather

"Before texting we had to write letters by hand, and before emojis we honestly just bottled up our emotions."

'This is a letter opener, from the days before faxes and email. I just sold it online after I listed it as a vintage communication device.'

"Dammit all, haven't they heard of e-mail?"

"My Gmail account is full. I can't get any more email." "So?" "I'll miss email. It was so old-timey. You could write hundreds or even thousands of words, with actual paragraphs." "People didn't see any little animations to show them you were typing. They had to actually wonder if you were going to reply." "And the spam was fun. You never got to hear from Nigerian princes while you're checking your texts." "Just delete stuff." "If you delete a few gigs of old emails, you'll be able to get n

Before social media there was sticky notes.

'With government cyber snooping, we must communicate through channels no one would ever suspect...the postal service.'

"I suppose you're using all the modern technology, dynamic packaging, skype, web marketing..." "Yes, we even use carrier-pigeon.com."

Next Year's Postal Service Marketing Campaign.

"Operator, I'd like to make a person-to-person call, and I'd like to reverse the roles."

'You've got E.I.E.I.O mail'

"It's for you."

"That's not an email, so you don't have to worry about it containing a virus. It's a birthday card from Nana."

1804: Early Social Networking

A.T.&T.'s New Competitors

"Hello. This is the old man across the street. Get off my lawn!"

'How come no one ever sends me a fax?'

The Early Internet

"We're actually gossiping at a water cooler instead of on social media. Does this make us hipsters?"

'Blasted caller ID! I can't get through to anybody!'

'Sorry, I really need to take this.'

"I know it's a ransom note, but it's just so refreshing to get a handwritten letter these days."