Vintage Communicator Gifts

The Original Online Mom.

Woman wanting to send a telegram.

"It's his fifth post today. I'm unfriending that guy."

Goodbye Darling - "What have I told you about making personal calls at work?"

'Oh yes, you've been corresponding with your penfriend Michael Parkinson, haven't you dear?'

Call Blocker Has Always Been the Tekemarketer's Enemy.

"Got to go, other people want to use the phone."

"They've begun to attach personalized ads to their smoke signals."

"Dear Wendy, please excuse the tardiness of my response to your recent tweet from Hoboken."

"Before texting we had to write letters by hand, and before emojis we honestly just bottled up our emotions."

'This is a letter opener, from the days before faxes and email. I just sold it online after I listed it as a vintage communication device.'

"My Gmail account is full. I can't get any more email." "So?" "I'll miss email. It was so old-timey. You could write hundreds or even thousands of words, with actual paragraphs." "People didn't see any little animations to show them you were typing. They had to actually wonder if you were going to reply." "And the spam was fun. You never got to hear from Nigerian princes while you're checking your texts." "Just delete stuff." "If you delete a few gigs of old emails, you'll be able to get n

Before social media there was sticky notes.

1876 - Alexander Graham Bell made the world's first telephone call.

Luddite Zoom.

Beachcomber sees that smartphone displays 'message in a bottle.'

"You're actually passing notes in class? That is so retro!"

'With government cyber snooping, we must communicate through channels no one would ever suspect...the postal service.'

"Ignore it. Telemarketer."

The early version of accidentally hitting 'reply all.'

Next Year's Postal Service Marketing Campaign.

"I'm well aware that your e-mail isn't working. I got your first message."

'It's just like e-mail, only you hear people talking.'

'Sorry, guys. I can't go out. I'm grounded.'

20 years as Stamp Club Chaorman and they send my retirement card by E-MAIL.

'Don't you dare to burn the food because you're texting with your buddies!'

A.T.&T.'s New Competitors

"That's not an email, so you don't have to worry about it containing a virus. It's a birthday card from Nana."

Couriers and their customers often share a warm relationship.

"Who says no one writes letters anymore?"

'At the tone please leave your name and number.'

"You know I hate when you check your messages at the table."

'How come no one ever sends me a fax?'

"Hello. This is the old man across the street. Get off my lawn!"

John's Early Attempts at Direct Messaging Proved Futile.